College-bound Overachiever Pillows

"Hey, there's Sara, padding her college-entrance résumé!"

Overjumpers

"One year closer to college!"

"Doing your homework may lead to a job that has homework."

Genius Envy

'I told you hard work would pay off in the third grade, Cate...You've had three job offers.'

"Could you please downgrade this to a C? High expectations bring out the worst in my parents."

"Rosalie—your poor performance this year has reduced your parents' investment in you by almost seventy per cent."

"You'll never make it as a doctor with handwriting like this. I understood every word."

'They're a very successful family.'

Too big to fail

Workaholics Anonymous meeting: 'No one showed up. Everyone is working.'

'No ulcers shows me you haven't reached your full potential.'

"Stop applying! You've been accepted to three universities!"

"Congratulations Professor, the committee 'okayed' your grant request."

'Good news Mom. I was accepted to the college of your choice.'

'That's your report card and might I add you need to try a little harder.'

"Looks like a storm ahead, Captain." "I think you're being over dramatic."

'But Marvin, you can't be a college graduate for a living!'

Ladder of success"...Perhaps, you'd like our economy model."

Still a Disappointment to his Mother

'As much time and effort as he puts into this job, you'd think there was some money in it.'

"This'll look great on my transcript!"

"You promised to stop bringing your work home."

'...then I got my masters in psychology, and a year later I earned my Ph.D. in sociology. By the time I get my master in math and my doctorate in history, I'll be ready to retire.'

"This has been a productive homework session!"

The sixth college sense. 'I see debt people.'

"My dad doesn't nag me enough about going to college."

"Your internship is finally over. You're now required to work longer hours with no extra pay."