College Application Strategist Pillows

'We'll have to take this one - he invented the software we're using to make the selection.'

"Actually, I'm hoping what I'm going to be when I grow up hasn't been invented yet."

'Our admission policy is now simplicity itself. If you have the tuition, you're in.'

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

'Another football scholarship offer?'

'Your pediatrician? No. . . I'm your baby's college admissions representatives.'

'This scholarship application is great. You must have received an A in creative writing.'

"Hey, there's Sara, padding her college-entrance résumé!"

'It's my application to Harvard...'

"Of course I'm not quitting school, Dad! If anything, I've learned that if you want to succeed, you need passion and leadership and a whatever-it-takes attitude!"

Gracie goes over to the college recruitment tent at a carnival.

"Being from another planet is worth thirty points towards your child's admission to Harvard."

Boho Bribes

'My kid is going to Harvard, and Jim's son to Stanford- which college accepted yoyr kid, Fred? ( pix of clown on desk)

"I've spent more sending my son on college campus tours than I did getting my degree."

"Today we're filling out mock college applications."

'Her special Talent is sulking.'

"Cheer up, Nicole! What does Princeton know? Say, you got any plans for that last bit of cobbler?"

"Career plans? I'd like to go to college and major in googling."

'Who do I talk to about getting a student loan?'

"It's all set. We both have enough credits to go to college."

"Now that my college of choice no longer requires the SAT, I'm relying more than ever on grade inflation."

The New SAT.

"Give me a hug. I can tell a lot about a man by the way he hugs."

"I'm just saying B's are okay."