Collector Of Curiosities Pillows

'It's perfect!'

"I'd go global if it wasn't so risky."

'If you want a receipt, you'll have to wait until I close. I'm right-handed.'

'You've been on eBay again haven't you?'

'Finally! More crap I bought and don't need! I love shopping on Ebay!'

"I got a swiss army hook!"

'But Mikey - your stuff is junk-mine is collectible!'

'Have you given serious consideration to adding investment-grade Star Trek trinkets to your portfolio?'

"Oh, I've never actually read any of your books. . . I come to these hoping the author will pass away and the book will increase in value!"

"Of course, it's full of woodworm, we breed them..."

'How come when you sold it to me, it was a 'rare and beautiful thing'. and now that I want to sell it back to you, it's 'a bog standard pot'?!'

Smug cat looks at his catch of trophy heads.

Historic documents, collectors' items, all first editions - formerly: Newspapers.

Expanded books.

Taxidermist: 'Can I phone you back? I'm up to my elbows right now.'

'How about a bobble-head night?'

"Actually it's a very tiny little shark, so here's to the inventor of the magnifying glass!"

'Yes, my husband is a hoarder too, but he's not like yours: He doesn't hoard treasures, he hoards junk!'

'Oh - we're a pretty eclectic bunch here.'

"I remember when it was worth $50,000, instead of $150 million -- it must have gotten a lot better."

Iceberg in a Bottle

"You may be more familiar with her maiden name, Kelly, Grace Kelly."

A mummy begs for change in front of the pyramids.

"Oh, I used to collect Picasso, Rembrandt and the usual masters. . . then I discovered a new unknown artist!"

"I like this one. Do you think it will look good when knocked from the table to the floor?"

Antiques Roadshow Here Today!

Victorian Secret

"Don't worry dear, accidents happen. Besides, thanks to you and your feather duster, I've just sold it to a collector for twice the original asking price."

"Do you have something for the person who has everything including this store?"

Last charity shop for 10 paces

"The kids gave me it for Christmas."

"Oh, good! Lucille is sending me some stuff!"

"Edgar, don't you think it's time you donated a wing somewhere?"

Old masters, works attributed to old masters, outright fakes

"Let's plug it up and start somewhere new."