Collector Of All Things Quirky T-Shirts

The Stat-shoe of Liberty.

Pirate Squirrels Looking for Buried Treasure

"And for lot 27 we have another old tennis ball."

'When you said you had an investment in gold, you didn't mention it was in your teeth!'

Evolution Interrupted By Man Fishing

'Oh, I don't have a problem, doc. My friend here has a problem.'

'Six years ago you received a complimentary set of steak knives. You thought they were free didn't you Jimmy?...'

An early Picasso painting is sold at auction - it is a painting from when Picasso was a child

"Paper or plastic?"

Biliard Enthusiast

Fly Hospital: "Just a slight stinging then you'll be fast asleep."

Elderly gent keeps his hip in a bottle

"Psychiatric convention"

Cafe: 'Soup of the day, Hon, is 'primordial'.'

'I just found out my vintage Roy Rogers lunch box is worth more than my 401k.'

Ed Revere, Spam Courier

Quicksand Swamp - Cheap Burial Plots.

Potatoes.

'The stuff legends are made of'

Jack and the Beanie stock.

A Scottish Terrier playing bagpipes wins the dog show.

'Doing this was easy. Finding someone nuts enough to buy the crap - THAT'S art!'

"Just once I would like to laugh or to frown."

"That's what I call an off-off-off-off-off Broadway show!"

"He calls himself orange roughy, but I remember when his name was slimehead."

An old shoe in every bag!

Tonight's specials are printed on the side of the barn. ? Bar.

"First and foremost, I feel that architecture should make a statement."

Misfortune cookies

"I suppose it does him credit - he never was big on facing reality."

Cat and Mouse

'Blasphemous? Christ no!'

When Pyromaniacs Buy A Home: 'This is a great starter home.'

'Hey, Fred, what are you doing for Thanksgiving?'

Devil selling angel wings.