Collecting Puppets T-Shirts

'If you'd like a second opinion, my colleague, Dr. Hand, is a specialist in layman's terms.'

'It's worse than we thought... You've got termites.'

Sock puppet down!: 'A hand! I need a hand!'

'How about letting me off the hook.'

'I'm afraid you have dry rot.'

'It's for liability reasons.'

"I've found the problem. Rodney isn't your ventriloquist dummy. He's your Siamese twin."

'They canceled school today -- the teacher couldn't find her hand puppets.'

"The cops were on to him"

'If I really knew anything, would I be here with somebody's hand up my ass?'

'A room with double beds, please.'

"She's had work done. I can spot plastic wood a mile away."

"Well at least they can't see your lips move."

Ventriloquist with face mask

"I didn't want to tell you like this, but I'm going solo..."

"Talk or Mr. Giggles swims with the fishes."

"You never said anything about a menage a trois!"

Wind Up Fox

"And now, for your entertainment, I will drink a glass of water while Rempert, here, remains eerily silent."

And finally, don't take any wooden nickels.

"You sock!!"

Ventriloquist shocked to find dummy has relieved himself on his knee

"What happened to you?"

'You ought to get out more according to experts.'

A Punch and Judy Professor is visited by Death as a puppet.

The Wrath of the Godfather of Ventriloquism

Sock Puppet in Literature

"Don't get fresh Buster."

"C'mon - it's not like I'm argyle!"

Have you any age related symptoms?

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

'Peter the Flying Hippo is my favorite storybook character without any merchandising tie-ins.'

The Runaway Horse

"That's it lads, 364 days annual leave...what would we have done without our union!"

"We're playing doctor. Do you have any old magazines for our waiting room?"