Collecting Manuals T-Shirts

'I can't get out! -- I lost the owner's manual!'

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

"You haven't got dyslexia- the instructions are in polish."

Library sections; Fiction, non-fiction and do-it-yourself.

My Bookshelf Before the Internet

"Bah, I could've written a better dénouement in my sleep."

"Meet The Author"

Sherlock Holmes selling Sherlock Holmes.

'Little Yank' Calf Puller.

"Meet the embellisher 3-5 pm"

"Tonight! Author book signing." "Develop your inner raging bitch."

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

Books: Novels, Short-Stories, Tall Tales.

'Look! The new long awaited, highly anticipated but ultimately disappointing novel by that guy you like.'

Woman blowing dust off book 'Desert Romance'

"It turns out everyone here is self-published."

Rare Books

Not to be a motion picture. Will remain just a book.

'Mysteries' section of bookshop reveals secret door.

Characters jumping out of a book.

Great British Eccentrics.

Books: The Wit and Wisdom of Ebenezer Scrooge

Flyfishing for dummies.

'It finally took me thirty years, but I finally have one of every 3-D comic book ever made'

The Shrinking Dollar.

Goodnight Moon for the Misbegotten

Bookstore, the Politically Incorrect Guide to You.

Sock Puppet in Literature

"I don't care if it is itty-bitty. Turn it off!"

Do it yourself books.

Shop struggles to sell books about recession: '90 per cent off on all credit crunch books' (Titles incluude: Beat the Crunch! Who's to Blame? We're all Doomed!)