Collecting Manuals T-Shirts

'I can't get out! -- I lost the owner's manual!'

"It's here! And it only cost me $3 plus postage! You see, you don't need a lot of money to build a sweet machine!"

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

"You haven't got dyslexia- the instructions are in polish."

My Bookshelf Before the Internet

Library sections; Fiction, non-fiction and do-it-yourself.

"Bah, I could've written a better dénouement in my sleep."

"Meet The Author"

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

Victor Hugo

Sherlock Holmes selling Sherlock Holmes.

"Tonight! Author book signing." "Develop your inner raging bitch."

"Meet the embellisher 3-5 pm"

'Little Yank' Calf Puller.

Books: Novels, Short-Stories, Tall Tales.

'Look! The new long awaited, highly anticipated but ultimately disappointing novel by that guy you like.'

J. R. R. Tolkien

'Mysteries' section of bookshop reveals secret door.

Not to be a motion picture. Will remain just a book.

Rare Books

Woman blowing dust off book 'Desert Romance'

"It turns out everyone here is self-published."

Characters jumping out of a book.

Great British Eccentrics.

Books: The Wit and Wisdom of Ebenezer Scrooge

Flyfishing for dummies.

Sue the Author 3PM

Sock Puppet in Literature

You've read the book's dust jacket. Now, play the video game!

'The definition of OBSOLETE: old fashioned dictionaries.'

"I did the math. If we want to read all of Proust in this lifetime, we have to start tomorrow morning."

Do it yourself books.