Collecting Jokes Pillows

"I asked for extra starch."

'I've started to notice how much younger our criminals seem to look!'

"Well, that's not a good sign."

'We're your hidden agenda, dude! Pipe down and shut the door!'

"I've done this procedure so often I could do it in my sleep. But that's only happened twice – that I'll admit to."

'Would you like an aspirin for your haddock?'

Boobs Eye Chart.

Mexican Jumping Balls.

Chameleon humor...'I never metamorphosis I didn't like...'

'You come in here giving it all that.'

'Butchers', 'Beef' 'Ham' 'Fingers'

'When you said, Dream Team, I thought you meant the Swiss Bikini Team.'

'Look, I'm only gonna say this once... Look, I'm only gonna say this once... Look, I'm only...'

The Federal Witless Protection Program in action.

'I would suggest a Cabernet Sauvignon. It's non habit forming. I should know. I've been drinking a glass every day for twenty years.'

Apple says to banana: 'Look, it's had to explain ??" you're just a naturally funny guy, OK?'

'The pills stopped your depression but we may need to adjust the dosage, Sister Naomi.'

"Remember 'It's not the coughing that carries you off - it's the coffin they carry you off in'!"

"That's what you get for ordering two fingers of Scotch at a leper colony."

"So, 'as fun as a stick in the eye' may be a poor comparison?"

"Yes, but then that's not a bullet, is it?"

"Now, just for fun. Kick it!"

"You're a ledge."

Work Round the Clock

"I've got a painful burning sensation in my groin, doc."

Punville, Montana

"I have butterflies in my stomach."

"Champagne always makes her light-headed."

"I was telling you to stop, not asking for a high five."

'So, all your trips crossing the road finally paid off ?!'

Last Tango in Wisconsin

"We did find a creative bone in your body, but it was very untalented."

"Polly wanna quaker."

"Carpenter ants."

"It's from my Swiss account."