Collecting Jewellery Pillows

On the scale of 1-10, do you like it?

'Oh my God. I love it!'

"I wish I had her jewelry." "I wish I had his wife." "I wish I had her figure." "I wish I had his money."

Venn Diagram: DIamonds

Life Store Guide: Make-up and jewellery

Jewellery Shop: Disposable income spoken here.

'Go ahead and laugh, but I lose my keys less frequently than you do.'

Diamond outfits

"My wife wanted to see a diamond. So I took her to a ballgame."

"See what I mean? It's going to take a bigger diamond."

'We recommend that you get a ring of equal weight for the other hand to prevent improper alignment of your spine.'

"Diamonds are so three billion years ago..."

"But until I do transmute lead into gold, maybe I could interest you in some lovely lead jewelry."

"Happy Anniversary, dear! It's a gold spray-painted macaroni necklace."

A Zircon Is Forever

'I want to finish with him, but I'll have to wait until he's made the final payment on my engagement ring.'

Lots of shiny glass objects! Darling, you're spoiling me!

'Ouwth! Bid my tong!'

'Or you can rent by the week...'

'That's a picture of my granddad with shoulder length hair and a beard. That's why mom calls these albums hair looms.'

'We would like to buy three rings... Engagement, wedding and teething!'

"I'd like to have my teeth scrimshawed without being, you know, harpooned."

'It's one of our new technology rings, it allows you to download karats.'

'We always like to give more bling for the buck.'

'It's in my belly-button if you must know!'

Will you be mine?

"It was her mothers"

'...And this one comes with a magnifying glass so she can show it off to her friends.'

"Next time you meet me dressed as a giant boy, it's going to cost you a pair of diamond earrings."

Jewellers - "If you really love your wife to be, then money should be no object."

Posh Easter Egg

'It started with a kiss - then their nose rings got locked.'

It is my mother's, she uses it as an anchor for our yacht.

'And I think you'll find something extra in your dessert, Hon.'

"Jewelry store, visit our ATM."