Collecting Inventions Pillows

'I think it's more than a coincidence that I discover fire, and my wife discovers burnt food on the same day.'

Clown on bike.

Fly Football

'It's a difficult job, he needed a bigger than average 'stress ball'.'

hard-boiled egg...

"Can you believe you left your job and family to search for this key, and it was under here the whole time?"

"I got a swiss army hook!"

'In my time, we didn't talk to a blackberry. We just ate the damn things!'

Bathroom Fairy

Frankenstein's Monster's PC.

Apocalypse Research Center

"Thanks—I got it off Amazon."

'I've found a spade I like Julia...'

'Have you any W fronts?'

"Cap'n FancyPants got himself an i-Patch."

"Sold For sale Ellie Kopp 1-800-238-7463 Yaffle Realty Stop renting. Buy your boot from a boot."

A close shave on the Titanic...

'I don't think I've ever heard of the Geezer Scouts or Geezer Scout cookies.'

"Good heavens, Caruthers. It's the wife!"

'Remember, before entering, make sure you wipe your feet on the hazmat.'

Melvin likes to indulge his inner child.

"Thank you for holding. . .Your call is important to us. . .Yeah right."

Geeks and their dogs.

"My goodness, no! Grandfather would never, ever let us near this!!"

"Goodnight Tommy, sleeptight, watch the millenium bugs don't bite."

Tin Can Operation.

Old and new technologies

"It called a smart phone. Cool, but no service."

Nobody's Perfact (spelled wrong)

'I'll take ten, please.'

"I got it in a novelty shop. But it has decreased loitering around the watercooler with 29%!"

'Celeb Foods: Damien Hurst's voles in brine.'

'It even tells time in metric minutes.'

"Did you hear? It turns out old power cords are really valuable! Good things Dad kept them!"

Joke Shop product - Not Funny After 10 Sept 87