Collecting Dental Tools Pillows

"They were all out of pirate hooks so I got a dentist hook."

'Little Yank' Calf Puller.

"In the whole length and breadth of this world there is no more admirable a spot for a man and his dog to pass the time than the local Home Depot."

'They look more up to date than the ones in your tool-box.'

'A cousin to the hammerhead, here we see the allusive, yet, handy, multi-use shark.'

"He loves his leaf blower."

Name one serious woodworker who doesn't use state of the art kit. Thomas Chippendale.

Hardware Store Tools Wrench

Oct. 1982: Researchers attempt an ill-fated procedure in great white shark oral hygiene.

"Hey, I just consider myself very fortunate to be getting paid for something I'd be doing anyway."

'I'm a do-it-yourselfer, but I've never been a done-it-yourselfer...'

'You know, there's no need to reinvent the rock.'

'Yeah, yeah, yeah... I know the drill.'

'... and we're also having a sale on do-it-yourself emergency surgery kits.'

Al's Farm Equipment: Our Prices Can't Be Beat!

'Put your tools away. We can't afford to pay any more tradesmen to fix another of your botched DIY projects.'

Posh Easter Egg

"If I can't use a calculator, may I use my Dad's old slide-rule?"

'I think you want Phillips. Two doors down on the left.'

'Where do you keep the elbow grease?'

"But seriously do you think my eclectic knowledge of the history of the development of the claw hammer makes me more of a sex magnet?"

'Well, in the hands of my husbnd it's almost as lethal as a loaded gun.'

Pun on Excalibur - Swiss Army knife appears from the lake.

'Would it have killed you to go with a store-bought model?'

"I'm looking for a Father's Day gift. What kind of wrench says 'I love you'?"

'Anything need fix'n around here? I mean besides the lamp I just broke.'

'I'm looking for a toothpaste that combats Tokyo, Kansas city and Suburban Portland along the gum line.'

Scales

"My doctor says you should be drawing more fruits and vegetables."

"Hey. Where the hell's my harmonica?"

"Tell me, do you own a mallet with a rubber shaft?"

"You've not used a chainsaw before have you?"

Handy-lion

'My hubby is getting better at D.I.Y. . . . Oh yes, he now spends more on screws than plasters.'

'It's my latest invention -- I cal lit 'a rock tied to a stick.''