Cold Weather Complainer Pillows

"I hate this time of year."

'I swear, if one more person says, 'Cold enough for ya?' I'm gonna chip off a snot-sicle and stab their eyes with it.'

"It's not the persistent lack of sunlight or freezing temperatures that bother me - it's the crowds I can't stand."

"Bless You."

'I'll be glad when winter is over and he can start buryi8ng bones again.'

Rude Snowpeople

This Halloween, use props to create a unique jack-o-lanern. Fitness buffs might like a jumping jack. Or you could carve a lumberjack. In colder climates, Jack Frost might be a nice choice. And for something functional, build a jack!

Rent a Room With Hot Water

"For years after Vietnam, I woke up screaming about the cold weather in Toronto."

"Before someone says anything, yes, it was a long winter."

'Typical, I hadn't finished complaining about the rain...'

"I'm going to Bognor next year!"

"Aw, geez. My nuts are frozen." "T-T-Tell me about it."

"Brrr - it was so cold today I had my hands in my own pockets instead of someone elses!"

'Well, put a jumper on if you're cold!'

Say, I just had a thought

"And unlimited freezer space, naturally..."

"Help me! I'm trapped. In a dead end job."

'The temperature isn't too bad at -15, but when you add on the wind chill factor... '

'...and the temperature is controlled by a thermostat which keeps it at a controlled zero year round.'

'Now there goes a good Salesman...!'

"I see Linda and Gay moved back from down South. I knew that wouldn't last."

I Love Winter!

'Buddy, I'll get stinking rich... yesterday, I took out an insurance against pneumonia!'

'Am I shivering or giggling?'

'Yes, we could use someone with your talents!'

Igloo Building.

'Yeah, it's annoying: When it's hot and humid, my mane tends to curl up...'

"We switched over. It’s cheaper, and polls show sinners are far more miserable in a cold climate."

Eskimo asks, 'Was it good for you?'

Explorer receiving a Valentine from a penguin.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't realize the water balloons had already frozen..."

'It's a letter from the fish. Apparently the water was too cold for them so they went to Florida for the winter. Dang, we came all this way for nothing.'

Winter Coat

'That's easy for you to say, you like cold weather.'