Cold Call Connoisseur T-Shirts

"Have you thought about retirement - with me?"

Men gossiping

"I guess when your husband dies you'll really understand what they mean by a statistical death."

Counselor. It's annoying that he always has to have the second-to-last word

"No, no, that’s in a bar, Mr. President — you can talk politics and religion here."

You guys were right! Screaming profanities is more satisfying than howling these days.

"I like them. They hate the same things we do."

"Sir, can I interest you in a luxury coffin?"

"Nope! He'd never set eyes on a water cooler in all his years in the office!"

"Cat got your tongue?"

'Have you heard the news about Susan in logistics?...'

'Yeah, but this time she just said no -- there wasn't any hysterical laughter!'

Can I ask you a question, man-to-man? Sure, little buddy. What do "man-to-man talks" usually consist of? What? I've never really had one, I don't think. What usually goes into them? Sports? Shaving? Carburetors? A little of this, a little of that. There's a proper ratio, of course. I'm not good at math.

"I said, you know why women talk more than men?" "What?" "I said, you know why women talk more than men..." "What?"

"We should probably talk about the elephant in the Roomba."

"Is there a dramaturge in the house?"

White Wine Wisdom (2)

"Thank you, gentlemen, and may the best networked man win."

Bookshop: Our Bestsellers - Empty Phrases

'... Press 7 to admit defeat...'

"There's a kind of rhythm to making money that something inside me responds to."

"He says he's a Professor of Rhetoric but I'm not persuaded."

Pizza and Related Searches.

'You do obscenity very well. Can you talk without being obscene as well?'

'This is our real-time chat room.'

Man cold-calling on phone from igloo

"NOBODY LISTENS ANYMORE."

"Hold that afterthought!"

Working from Home

"Actually, turns out my entire life can take place at 10%."

"Richard has quite an ear for dialogue."

"The demise of psychoanalysis? Yes, I saw it coming but you know how it is... denial... repression... projection... compartmentalisation..."

"She never has a bad word to say about anyone, she's always too busy talking about herself..."

"So, have you two been doing anything reproductive?"

"Don't preted to hibernate when I'm talking to you."