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How Optimism Works

"Wait—what did I come into this room to do?"

"She's a show dog...purebred, of course." "That's great! My guy's a Sanskrit scholar...wrote for the Harvard Lampoon."

"You need to take the weak parts of your presentation and work them into something that won't get you fired."

An experimentalist alarms his guests by describing the appearance of the mushrooms in a dish they have just eaten.

'As you can clearly see, our profits continue to climb well into the third quarter.'

"You'd be angry, too, if your alter ego was a successful physician."

'I have a master's in 17th century Dutch feminist poetry, but I've never really used it.'

Age-salary ratio

'But you distinctly said working breakfast.'

"I worry that some people find me boring"

"Don't take it so hard. It was a really tough maze."

Overly wordy travel.

Development of disgusting new flaws. Loving acceptance of your flaws.

"You're so vein."

"They may be champagne problems, but they're my problems."

'Don't rush me! I need some time to process everything.'

Book reading a work titled: 'How to be self-reflexive.'

"Now, in order to view this quarter's data correctly, you'll need to put on these rose-tinted glasses in front of you."

"The bar charts show out clients overwhelmingly prefer pie charts."

'I can't believe I flunked! -- I always do so good when I watch game shows!'

"Now that you have eaten from the tree of information technology..."

'Boy, you're really into yourself, aren't you?'

"When he thinks back about this years from now, he'll only remember the good probes."

"There's no need to shout!"

"Why do you keep choosing scissors when you know she picks rock every time?"

Man in bathroom surprised by his rude reflection in the mirror.

"The inflation isn't that bad. The kids pick berries, my wife picks grass and leaves, and once a month we can afford a loaf of bread."

'Since I can no longer afford your modeling fees, what was to be titled 'Reclining Nude' will now simply be called 'Poodle-Woman.''

"What immortal hand or eye could frame thy fearful symmetry?"

"This chart will simplify our market projections."

"There's nothing wrong with your memory. You just need to shut off the auto-delete in your brain."