Cognitive Reframing Fan Gifts

How Optimism Works

"Wait—what did I come into this room to do?"

'I have multiple personalities and they are all following me on Twitter.'

"She's a show dog...purebred, of course." "That's great! My guy's a Sanskrit scholar...wrote for the Harvard Lampoon."

An experimentalist alarms his guests by describing the appearance of the mushrooms in a dish they have just eaten.

"You need to take the weak parts of your presentation and work them into something that won't get you fired."

'As you can clearly see, our profits continue to climb well into the third quarter.'

"You'd be angry, too, if your alter ego was a successful physician."

'I have a master's in 17th century Dutch feminist poetry, but I've never really used it.'

"Use your head, follow your heart and go with your gut."

'But you distinctly said working breakfast.'

Age-salary ratio

"I worry that some people find me boring"

Overly wordy travel.

"Don't take it so hard. It was a really tough maze."

Development of disgusting new flaws. Loving acceptance of your flaws.

"You're so vein."

"They may be champagne problems, but they're my problems."

'Don't rush me! I need some time to process everything.'

Book reading a work titled: 'How to be self-reflexive.'

"Now, in order to view this quarter's data correctly, you'll need to put on these rose-tinted glasses in front of you."

"The bar charts show out clients overwhelmingly prefer pie charts."

"Now that you have eaten from the tree of information technology..."

'Boy, you're really into yourself, aren't you?'

'I can't believe I flunked! -- I always do so good when I watch game shows!'

"When he thinks back about this years from now, he'll only remember the good probes."

"There's no need to shout!"

"Why do you keep choosing scissors when you know she picks rock every time?"

'I think it's always looked like that.'

Man in bathroom surprised by his rude reflection in the mirror.

'Since I can no longer afford your modeling fees, what was to be titled 'Reclining Nude' will now simply be called 'Poodle-Woman.''

"The inflation isn't that bad. The kids pick berries, my wife picks grass and leaves, and once a month we can afford a loaf of bread."

My name's Bill, and I'm forgetful. Hi, Carl! Forgetful Folks Support Group.

"What immortal hand or eye could frame thy fearful symmetry?"

"This chart will simplify our market projections."