Cogito Ergo Sum Fan Gifts

"I think therefore I am on antidepressants."

'The circle is complete!'

"We're following Carrot Top."

"Hi there! - I'm the world's first eco-friendly comedian... All My Jokes Are Recycled...!"

William Shakespeare sitting at a desk

King George I

'Everybody has to change to compete.'

"Someone throw him a punchline!"

The Da Vinci Cod

"....And what's the deal with fetch? You want the stick or don't you? Make up your mind already!"

Wonders of Evolution: This species has developed an unusual protective shell.

'I think we're losing sight of out roots.'

"Damnit—Every game ends in stalemate."

Homo Zapiens

'Shortly you will be running for your life. I wouldn't order dessert.'

You're my Venus

"A wise choice sir! Aah. . . Da Vinci - a genius of the Renaissance and a man who changed the face of art forever! Would you like that as a bookmark, a pencil sharpener or a fridge magnet. . . ?"

First Church of the Almighty Dollar.

"What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot!"

Canine Comedians

"I stand corrected. Hard as you try, sometimes you just can't find the humor in a situation."

"Before we begin. . . terms and conditions. . ."

Space Pioneer

"So, what do you think about the web developer course you are taking?"

Jokes machine.

"Dad, has there EVER been a time when James Corden was funny..?"

'The sick economy isn't why J.B.has cut back on spending. He always was a tightwad.'

"Years of penny-pinching really paid off. The price of copper just went up again."

"He can afford a bigger cage. His old tax forms line the bottom."

"That's too big a pill for me to swallow, Harold!"

'I haven't been feeling funny lately doctor.'