Cogito Ergo Sum Fan Gifts

"I think therefore I am on antidepressants."

'The circle is complete!'

"Hi there! - I'm the world's first eco-friendly comedian... All My Jokes Are Recycled...!"

"We're following Carrot Top."

William Shakespeare sitting at a desk

King George I

'Everybody has to change to compete.'

"Someone throw him a punchline!"

The Da Vinci Cod

Wonders of Evolution: This species has developed an unusual protective shell.

"....And what's the deal with fetch? You want the stick or don't you? Make up your mind already!"

'I think we're losing sight of out roots.'

'Shortly you will be running for your life. I wouldn't order dessert.'

Homo Zapiens

"Damnit—Every game ends in stalemate."

"A wise choice sir! Aah. . . Da Vinci - a genius of the Renaissance and a man who changed the face of art forever! Would you like that as a bookmark, a pencil sharpener or a fridge magnet. . . ?"

You're my Venus

First Church of the Almighty Dollar.

Canine Comedians

"Before we begin. . . terms and conditions. . ."

"What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot!"

"I stand corrected. Hard as you try, sometimes you just can't find the humor in a situation."

Jokes machine.

"Dad, has there EVER been a time when James Corden was funny..?"

"When we asked you to paint the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel, Michaelangelo, we were hoping you'd snazz it up."

"So, what do you think about the web developer course you are taking?"

Space Pioneer

'The sick economy isn't why J.B.has cut back on spending. He always was a tightwad.'

"Years of penny-pinching really paid off. The price of copper just went up again."

Biographies. Don Rickles for Dummies

'I haven't been feeling funny lately doctor.'

Museum of Anthropology. Did Neanderthals carry backpacks?

Rembrandt's Selfies

Michael McIntyre.

"That's too big a pill for me to swallow, Harold!"