Coffee-hundred Gifts

"In a just world we'd have 'No Lawyer Left Behind'."

"Who's taking my order—the committee of the whole, or is there a liaison for decaf?"

"So this coffee shop if your 'hangout'?"

You've Had Enough!

"My favorite way to start the day...coffee, danish, and a data dump."

'Excuse me, but do you have a decaffeinated baristo?'

Brew 'N' Brouhaha

"It's an app that lets me know when I'm bored."

"Gimme a triple shot. I can't face another hour of 'Fetch boy!' without some caffeinated fortitude."

Try Our New Slam Dunk Coffee and Donut Special.

"Why do parishioners only eat half their donuts???" "Partial indulgence."

'I'm working about 85 cups of coffee a week. Why do you ask?'

Boss, customers are asking why you've doubled prices. I'm just being fair. When the cost of coffee beans go up, everyone thinks I'm justified in raising the price of coffee. But cost increases come in all shapes and sizes. What about my new 80" tv? What about my new car note? What about my manservant I just imported from London? I dream of the day when all costs can be passed on to customers equally. Greed is not a civil right issue!

"I'm thinking of suing your cafe. I just got a $2,000 dental bill. You should be paying for it." "I'm in here every day and I always order your sugary scones and your sugar-filled lattes." "That's why I had twelve cavities!" "I'll settle out of court for a scone and a latte." "No deal."

Instant Human: Just Add Coffee

"I'm fine. It's coffee."

"My wife ordered ICE coffee!"

Clive would be lost without his morning heart starter.

"Hold on, I'll make that coffee to go!"

'I'm writing my dissertation on Latte Sizes.'

'It's high time to make the boss clear that I'm the best employee ever!'

"Wheat bran, prunes and black coffee for breakfast?! What was I thinki — oh, noooo..."

"This procedure should help you relax. We're going to surgically remove the coffee cup from your hand."

'I didn't know it was so dangerous. . . Mac's coffee.'

"They were known as the tribe that didn't sleep."

"I'm glad you boys let me come along with you...it's nice to see how you kids live life! I mean, with youth on your side, I'm sure you live every moment to the fullest!"

'A dozen bagels, please. For here.'

"Could I have a skinny, half fat caramel infued Americano with a double shot and froth. . . but without the coffee!"

Expresso Lane

Beet Poet

Two Eggs Any Way You Want 'Em!

Another humdrum morning. Grind beans, make coffee, clean up coffee … wipe down counter … find cellphone left by some distracted customer, put in lost and found … have extraordinary revelation. My ship has come in! House of Java.net Cybercafe. Stay tuned …

'Sorry, but we can't serve you the 'grande' size anymore without a prescription.'

Harold pushed the 25 coffee refills to the limit

Try our bottomless cup of coffee!