Coffee Culture Critique Gifts

'Tall? Grande? Venti? I'm sorry. . . I don't speak your language.'

Writers without borders.

"Great coffee, Carole."

"The bad news is we've fired 80% of your office. The good news is we're fixing the coffee machine."

Running Latte

Sermon on the Grounds...

'This patch is to quit smoking...this patch is to quit drinking...this patch is to quit drugs...this patch is to quit coffee...and this patch is to quit having any kind of fun whatsover!'

'How are we supposed to think the unthinkable if we have to drink the drinkable?'

"Practicing my hate-face."

"There you go bra. Double flat white and homage to Rothko's Seagram series."

'The coffee tastes of mud. Is that why you call it 'ground' coffee?'

"I'd like a fat-free, gluten-free, MSG-free, mini, super-skinny, artisan latte please..."

Daily Grind Coffee Cup

"Introducing the Schultzaccino. Neither tea nor coffee."

"Braithwaite & Starbucks. How may we help you?"

'This decaf's lousy.'

Honest Vending Machine

"...ummm, remember that guy from Pennsylvania that you dumped?"

'No I don't do decaf, soy lattes with a shot of vanilla!'

Coffee Overload: 'I'll have a low fat soy latte, no sugar, two biscotti...make that a Columbian-Kenyan bean bend...oh make it snappy, I'm in a hurry!'

"Regular, grande, or lemon latte?"

Well, no wonder the natives are restless. They're worshipping an espresso machine!

Vancouver and its coffee drinkers.

"In the future, please order a small black coffee as a petit café noir."

"We don't have a battle cry to get the employees revved up, but it's amazing how productive people can be when you get them doughnuts every Wednesday."

'If I'm to put up with cold coffee and stale biscuits I expect a Much better line in gossip!'

"Could I have a skinny, half fat caramel infued Americano with a double shot and froth. . . but without the coffee!"

"It keeps you awake because it takes 5 hours to finish drinking it."

'Not really the kind of cafe culture we were hoping to find.'

Parking Meters at Tables in a Cafe

"I think it's time this cafe showed its commitment to LGBT rights."

Man - 'This coffee tastes like mud!' Woman - 'It was ground this morning.'

If you get lost, remember that there's a Starbucks on every corner.

'Parts - Labor Total'

"We start with black coffee and then add a lot of stuff so it doesn't taste like black coffee."