Coffee Contrarian Gifts

"I'm the kind of guy who likes his espresso with plenty of cream and sugar. And no espresso.".

The Department of Blind-Side Bias, Knowledge Gaps and Really Great Coffee.

'I'm part of the decision-making process... I'm the 'No' part.'

Protest

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

"Ever notice how grateful people are when you present them with facts contrary to their beliefs?"

"They're healthy? All this time, Mom said carrots and raisins were nature's candy!"

'The fourth quarter was no walk in the park. Especially for those who count on us to walk in the park.'

'Harrison, going against your better judgement has made us a lot of money...'

"Dont believe anything those guys have told you. None of it. It's all B.S."

"Your idea is strong. Really strong. But I've gotta ask myself, is it too much espresso for a decaf world?"

60 minutes I.Q. test - pick the counterfeit.

'An ebook! What are you reading?' 'Against technology: From the Luddites to neo-Luddism.'

"It doesn't matter if the glass is half empty or half full if you have a case."

Burning the Other

'He's always looking for an argument!'

Nothing like that first cup of coffee, eh, Frank?

"What if my bliss happens to be suing people?"

"Don't you shush us, mister! We're famous consultants!"

"Of course this is a pizza! Man, I've always been a rebel!"

Guru Shifted Thinking

Whipping Cream

'We're looking for new, original thinkers...people who can think 'outside the box'...'

Coffee Overload: 'I'll have a low fat soy latte, no sugar, two biscotti...make that a Columbian-Kenyan bean bend...oh make it snappy, I'm in a hurry!'

"I wish there was an easy answer but there's a sexual subtext to consider...even if you are comliant in meeting my needs am I subconsciously placing you in the sexually subservient role or nurturer and provider."

Giant 'NO' with a small man holding a 'Yes',

The Devil screeming hate speech through a megaphone called "tolerance" at a person holding up a sign that says "free speech"

'If everyone's thinking outside the box a man who thinks inside the box is bound to have the advantage.'

'I used to be a 'nut', but since I made millions in the market, I'm a 'contrarian'.'

Explorers discover the last contrarian without a podcast.

The Decafé

'I know we're supposed to flock together, but I want to see a different movie...'

One cappuccino please, and I wanted to give you this. A note. How formal. Dear small local independent coffee house ... I went to Starbucks this morning. I'm sorry. Can you ever forgive me? What if I agree to purge what I ate? The written apology is sufficient.

"Actually, I'm from New Jersey. The nickname comes from thirty years in the textile business."

ANARCHISTS' ASSOCIATION, 'All right! -- our Government grant just came through!'