Coffee Chatter Pillows

"I do think twice before believing anything I read online. I think, 'Really?' then 'o.k.'."

"I hate gossips. Like Karen."

"My favourite season is Spring, and Gary's is football."

Please wait while we have a cup of coffee and a bit of a chat about what we're doing at the weekend your call is important to us...the wrong automated cal system can have disasterous effects upon your customers.

'Don't look now but it's that guy from Pennsylvania that you dumped,'

"Could you repeat all that, I lost you at 'good morning.'"

"Hey, listen to this. A man was recently arrested at the mall after cops found a small package in his underwear."

"I always enjoy our talks."

"Was there any game in any sport last night which we can discuss?"

'Normally I don't mind regifting but on occasion you get back the same hideous thing you tried to get rid of.'

Could you be sincere with a guy like me?

'I'm not concerned that coffee might keep me awake all night. I have credit problems that do that for me.'

'I don't dare ask my students to answer questions - they keep expecting prizes like on Oprah.'

"He never calls me, but he always picks up."

'Are you still having trouble with that nosey neighbour?'

Voting on their Seats

"They're shifting the responsibility to the people with identifiable skills."

"Looks like Amazon is going to start delivering babies."

"Remind me what I was talking about—I wasn't listening."

"She's in a conversationally induced coma."

'I'm down to a pack of neuroses a day.'

Every morning the office gossip was cascaded down...

"I only drink decaf, otherwise I'm awake up to four hours a day."

Mums coffee morning

"I know it's only been a little while since we've been allowed to mingle again but I'm already getting really tired of people."

Young girl asks young boy what time he wakes in the morning

"Of all my husbands I believe the first one tasted the best."

'I'm looking for people who find me intimidating.'

"At this point, I think a rich lightweight would be fine."

'I don't care what he says, child labor laws were never intended to protect the rights of children in their mid-30s.'

"So have you been watching Bridgerton?"

"Sergio, you are the best father in the world. Except, you know, when you're not."

"If he were just 8 inches taller, 20 years younger,10 times more mature and a million dollars richer, he'd be perfect."

Teachers Lounge. That's funny -- I was sure the "No Child Left Behind" act would cover field trips.

Chris Evans