Cocktail Lounge Fan Gifts

A chip off the old block...

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

"I'm going to be rich, famous, and irresistible to the opposite sex any day now, Randy." "I think you've had one too many hot cocas, little buddy." "No, really. I've written a note for my descendants and buried it in a time capsule in my backyard." "Once they read it, they'll time-travel back to the 20th century and genetically engineer my embryonic self." "They'll bestow me with superhuman charisma, epic good looks, and money-management skills." "You're forgetting that to have descend

'I have a master's in 17th century Dutch feminist poetry, but I've never really used it.'

'Two large ones when you're ready please barkeeper'

A complimentary biscuit

Darlene? Rudy? I heard you might be hanging out here. I thought I'd come by just to say hello and see how you're doing. That's nice. Coffee King. I love you. Hence Coffee King. House of Java.

"What out... this guy's always gatecrashing events for free booze."

"When life gives me lemons, I know twenty-six ways to kill a man with a lemon."

'That's the great Scottish Indian fighter, Hawkeye the Noo!'

'Whatever he's drinking.'

Danger Coconuts

'How's my Mother? Not too good - You're sitting on her!'

Later in life he moved to Florida and retired to what is now known as Frankenstein's Condo.

Let the good times roll.

'When I get the clumsies, switch me to a sippy-cup.'

'Aren't you glad we decided not to fly north thing spring?'

'Marmaduke understands it differently than most dogs when you tell him to 'stay'.'

"Get lost, you bum!"

Colossus of Rhode Island

"This is why I like my wine chilled."

"Help yourself to Twiglets."

Cocktails for dogs

Medusa, first thing in the morning.

Can I have another free biscuit for my dog? Sure. Can you warm this one up? Maybe sprinkle some cinnamon and sugar on it, and maybe make it three biscuits? You sure this is for your dog? Can you also sprinkle a little turkey on it?

'Go ahead and have another candy bar. Adults say they want us to lose weight, but they're always trying to hide behind us. This will make it easier for them.'

"I hope they don't sit here they always try to set me off."

"We only serve large menacing drunks here Sir, not small insignificant ones"

Give me a bear, Luv. Anything else? Yeah, a mop.

Pub Painting

Hamster bartender

Rat: 'So...your Sewer or mine?'

'You call yourself a liar? I don't believe you.'

"Actually, it's a carrot in my pocket and I'm happy to see you."

"A shot of whisky, a beer chaser, and the current issue of TV Guide, please."