Cockney Slang Enthusiast Gifts

Cockney rhyming slang chiropodist in a butchers shop

'That's Cat from Eastenders.'

Let's get totally... Brahms and Liszt.

"And isn't it time we replaced the worn-out, meaningless cliches in our mission statement with some dazzlingly new meaningless cliches?"

"This report is mumbo jumbo...I asked for gobbledeeegook!"

"OMG, LOL!"

"Our detractors call it suburban sprawl, but I prefer thinking of our plan as 'sustainable over-development!'"

Stressed employee says to colleague: 'I think I'm on top of the situation and I hope I'm in the loop, but I can't seem to get ahead of the curve.'

"Here comes a client I must speak to. Excuse me while I slip into some jargon."

'And from what we've been able to determine, this is the tweak that broke the paradigm's back.'

"This is what we call a 'customer', or more accurately a 'potential profit centre.'"

"My resume is concise, succinct and eloquently worded. I only hope they know what I'm talking about."

East End Maps.

'Instead of cubicles, we call them interconnected productivity centres.'

"I propose the next person who says 'it is what it is,' we beat the living hell out of him."

"I liked it better when you used gobbledygook."

"I hear you've got quite a reputation with the girls around the office."

"Come to my office. I need to cascade with you offline."

'I'm going to bed...whatever...'

"Look at this - we're trying to merge with some of our acquisitions, and we're trying to acquire some of our mergers."

'If we are to reorientate our forward facing rhetorical platform we must rephrase our message to cross fertilise the core message..holistically!'

"Mr. Thomaston's people are here to talk to your people."

'But it didn't cost anything, dear! I did it all off balance-sheet!'

'It has everything... I love it!'

"Can you believe those guys? We tell them absolutely, positively no further negotiations, and they stop negotiating!"

'I got my foot in the door...at a price!'

Dan tells me you're an architect. That is so cool! Thanks! Cloud architect, actually.

''Big Society'...paradigm shift blah! Blah! Community spirit, neighbourhood cohesion, blah! Blah! Social inputs, perceptual platforms blah! Blah!'

" 'Take over' is such a harsh term. We prefer corporate make over.' "

The Department of People Who Can Still Say 'Paradigm' and 'Synergy' with Straight Faces.

Business School - Center for the Study of Mumbo Jumbo - 3rd Floor.

"'Cheers'? 'Lorry'? 'Jumper'? You can talk, boy? And you're British??"

"Now that you're a creative director, it's very important to only say three things. 1. What's the big idea? 2. That's been done before. 3. Keep going."

"Whoops - the server's gone down again!"