Coal Executive Gifts

Oilcoa Welcome Shareholders

"Looks like we found the issue."

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

"And need I remind you, the 'art of the deal' is the lifeblood of this company."

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

'This time we're going to do things right. And if that doesn't work, we'll just go back to stealing.'

'You could be a constant inspiration for us to come up with a plan to get a leg up on our competition...you're hired!'

'That's our mission statement.'

"Everyone at Megadrug is committed to the benefits of spoken therapies, which is why we developed 'nitrazone' to enhance the experience."

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

"Actually, she's just a figurehead boss. Our real CEO is an algorithm floating around somewhere in the cloud!"

'Which 'win' is ours? Because the one on the left looks bigger.'

Frank moonlights as a Grill Sergeant.

"No, I didn't steal your content. I just have your content's doppleganger."

"Third quarter numbers were good after we cut our global workforce three to two."

"Clear my schedule for the next five minutes. I feel the need for some spontaneous frivolity."

"'Quid pro quo' is a no-no, Bradbury. Around here we say 'reciprocal altruism'."

'There's good news and bad news, J. B. - we now control 51% of this corporation's stock!'

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

Spot the difference.

(oil - petroleum - gushing out of inkwell)

'As you can see by the pie chart, most of our expenses go to well, pie.'

The Department of Blind-Side Bias, Knowledge Gaps and Really Great Coffee.

The MBA Draft

The Solar System (after deregulation)

"I don't care if you are the Immediate Gratification Generation. Get out of my chair and back to the mailroom."

"This report is mumbo jumbo...I asked for gobbledeeegook!"

"Business doesn't take a summer vacation."

Golfing Boss

'And I'm happy to say, that since the merger...'