Oil Company Executive Gifts

'Sorry, pardner...your vehicle doesn't meet the size requirement for our state!'

Behind closed doors at the extremely complicated job of determining long weekend gas prices.

'What could possibly go wrong with the Keystone Pipeline? And don't worry about those non-fracking related earthquakes.'

'I sold my car to buy this can of gas...guess I could have thought that one through better.'

No Cheap Fuel Ahead: Easy Street Ends.

Oil of Frackenstein

Spot the difference.

The oil is getting low...I wonder where we get it refuelled?

"Stick 'em up!"

Mysteries of Life

Supreme Gas

Motor Insurance - I see you work in the petrol pricing dept. of an oil company.

Money gushes from oil derrick.

Draining the World of Oil

'Foul your air, pollute your water, frack up your land, all for cheaper oil. It's lucky your kids don't have oil under their skin.'

Plugging The Gulf Oil Leak.

'Sir, we've drilled so deep this time that we've reached Arab oil.'

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

'It seems every time my business grows so does my paperwork!'

(oil - petroleum - gushing out of inkwell)

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"

"I warned you not to use that club...now look, you struck oil!"

"...But of course we'll still be friends on Facebook!"

'The good news is we've discovered a vast new oil resource. The bad news is we need a space ship to get there.'

'Not bad, Ms. Newborn. But take another crack at it, and this time remember that 'earnings-per-share' is the alter upon which all other numbers are sacrificed.'

'Inevitably, I come to work early, leave late and alienate everyone.'

"Bill is in charge of our Ethics Department."

"Yes, we have a retirement plan. It's called a layoff."

'And we have an employee wellness program. By not offering health insurance or sick pay, we encourage wellness.'

'It says our line printer is obsolete our remote terminal is obsolete, and I'm afraid, we're obsolete.'

"It's trickle down."

Got stuck in Iraqi oil, Unca Sam?

'The client has asked that you please stop referring to the product as, 'Crappy Crap Crap.'

Terrorism leaves Iraq and moves on to new places.