Coach's Favorite Gifts

"No no no...You can kick the ball into touch, not the opposition!"

"Good game."

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

"You think you can? Think again, mister. You know you can. Got that?"

"Those aren't coconuts, they're tennis balls." "Sweet mother of Novak Djokovic!" The island of lost tennis balls.

Reach for the Star.

"Just another 50 decibels on your grunt and we can start to think about letting you hit a few balls!"

'I love your cardiovascular system!'

"There will be a winning team and a losing team. Are you OK with that?"

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

'What distance! Pity it wasn't the hammer!'

'Sure beats your cupping your ear!'

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'

'I started out as a teacher's pet, and then it kind of snowballed.'

Go! Means NOW!

'Thou shalt not steal...except for bases.'

The trauma of losing.

"Good game, good game, nice game, namaste, good game, nice game ..."

Time Is Money

Back to school.

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a MAP, actually."

"Some advice please...How do I squeeze 9 days work into 5 and still see my family?"

"I'm not using my jumper as a goalpost, sir, I'm using it as a jumper."

Bringing Your Child To The Bicycle Race

Bears

A Hard Look At Hard Looks

'Why couldn't you throw like that in the game?'

A married couple share the same pole vault.

'At least now the injury worries are over, we can concentrate on slagging off the team.'

"Cards to remind people that you still haven’t gotten a thank you note from them"

'Yes, Jenny, I know I'm always reminding the team to be good sports, but you really don't have to thank the ref after every call.'

"And the letterbox version, how does that make you feel."

I love your enthusiasm, girls, but we're not opening a can of whoop-ANYTHING.

'Pass it to Dewey! He's got himself into some kind of rhythm!!'

"I keep telling myself I've got to slow down."