Coach Appreciator Gifts

"Well, what do you know, my coach remembered my birthday!"

Great coachees recognise great coaches.

"There will be a winning team and a losing team. Are you OK with that?"

"Good game, good game, nice game, namaste, good game, nice game ..."

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

What else is there to wish for?

Mohamed Salah

"Mom, this is Sarah, the friend I was telling you about."

'Our coach telecommutes.'

"I'd like to help him, but honestly I have no idea who the good boy is."

"Don't forget to stop to take a selfie of smelling the roses and post it on social media."

'As an exercise I placed eleven dustbins on the pitch and made the team dribble around them...The bins won 5-0.'

"That's Fred's Case History."

How To Be Your Own Best Friend

Jens Stoltenberg.

Abdullah Ahmad Badawi.

"I let him think he's protecting us, too."

Quasimodo Zit.

Third place sabotaging first place on medal stand.

Jürgen Norbert Klopp

"Try to be more like Mary. Mary's a real team player."

'Let's put it this way, part of you was offside!'

'No sweat, dad. If I'm going to live to be one hundred and six there's still plenty of time for improvement.'

Doubt makes the mountain that faith can make disappear.

"Thanks for the pointers."

Princess Carpet

Notable noses Vol. 83.

(Attack Dog) (It's about character stupid!)

"No bailout, son. Didn't I tell you, 'If at first you don't succeed, try, try again'?"

'If I ever get my hands on that stupid career counselor....'

'Come on, is there anything you can do quickly?'

"And this the alternative 'non-teamwork' approach to resolving the problem!"

'Here's to 12 years of Catholic school and 10 years of therapy.'

"I'll be honest. It wasn't my first choice of career."

Did you see last night's game? Eli Manning was incredible. So shapely. Stop it! I won't have my girlfriend drooling over the buttocks of the New York Giants' quarterback. What about his incredible gorgeous, taut calves?! I hate fall.