Co-parent Pillows

Maybe shared custody wasn't the best idea.

'It's 10 PM - do you know where the father of your children is?'

'I have to take the kids to soccer. You'll have to take the doormat to work.'

"Can't you see? He needs both of us!"

"Mark is my partner in quality parenting."

"Shall we go talk with those au pairs?"

"Go ask your mother ... and I'll tell you why she's wrong."

"You be the Boogey man tonight!"

"Mommy want you to have everything she had when she was growing up."

'It's something to wear when you're out with your Dad.'

'Can you look after the kids tonight?'

"I see that he is growing as fast as your law firm."

'Don't be embarrassed by your anti-barking collar, implanted tracking chip, and GPS device. Just think of them as fashion accessories.'

Constructing your own prison!

"And what did my little darling do in school today?"

Going into the relationship, Tom knew Loretta was a package deal.

Mom's Diner - Thanks for not talking about your father.

The relay race

'It's your husband. The baby won't burp for him.'

Base camp for Ed and Janet Wilson's courageous attempt to scale Mt. Blended Family.

"Look what I found in the garage! My old music speakers!"

"Where would young families be without grandparents as unpaid childminders?"

"You shouldn't have!"

'Talk about tough days.'

'You look down, son. You wanna rock about it?'

"Mommy, can I help you feed the troll?"

"I don't know who is more tired, the kids playing soccer, baseball, softball, tennis, lacrosse, volleyball and basketball, or me taking them."

Just a month into their divorce, Joyce began to sense that she and Ron were subtly competing for their kids' affection.

'Ask your other father.'

"I'm dealing with tweens at home and fiends at work."

'Stop nagging! I'm fathering.'

Be honest with your children about why you're getting divorced...

"These are payments for babysitters, but it's more exciting to pretend I'm a drug dealer."

'Mark, I think we need to discuss the nature of our relationship.'

"Good evening. I am Martha's son by a previous marriage."