Clutter Buster Gifts

Halloween: A great excuse to clean out your junk drawer.

"Our smart home must know how must clutter we have, because it took it upon itself to rent a dumpster."

'The doctor said he needed more activity. So, I hide his scuba equipment twice a week.'

"Are you ever going to take up horse racing again?"

"I wish you'd start recycling your old newspapers..."

Horn of Plenty.

'And this of course is the bedroom.'

"The 'Queer Eye' people came by - but they fled."

'Are we hoarders?' 'No, I think we're just slobs.' 'Oh, ok.'

"Officer, my husband went back there last night to hook up a DVR... and I haven't seen him since!"

Stuff you need once then leave at the back of the cupboard to fester

"I like putting any all the holiday decorations....it makes the room seem twice as large."

"I never realized how many wires and cords we used. And that's just from my office."

A skip or dumpster full of junk

"I can't come out, I have to re-clean my room...who'd have thought she'd look under the bed?"

"Billy's room gets cleaned for free! The cleaning service uses it to train employees how to clean a hazardous waste dump."

'I begged him to get a smart reader.'

I suggest you call technical support.

Mmm

I'm attacking this family's clutter! You need me? Yes! Help me decide which pile to start with. Tough call.

Gary Basks in the glow of a fifteen-minute window with no empty cardboard boxes in the house.

'Noticeboard? I forgot it was there to be honest.'

Let's get organized

"It looks like our house got sick and threw up the attic."

"I didn't spark joy."

"It has come to my attention that some work-from-home employees aren't maintaining company standards."

It beached on a pile of plastic bottles, so they were able to just roll it back out.

It was getting worse. Bob's power suit kept wanting more and more, whereas Bob just wanted out.

Maybe clean out your wallet

"I always like to clear my desk off for the weekend."

"I’ve seen better metaphors in my litter box."

'Congratulations on your purchase of the new Kablooey! Desk Organizer! Instructions for use...'

Fact: The average person spends 4.3 hours per week looking for things that are misplaced, misfiled or mislabeled.

'Being stuck on a desert island is one thing, but being struck on a desert island with a hoarder...'

"I discovered our home can be programmed to spit out any unnecessary clutter."