Fashion Clutter-buster Gifts

"Brooks Brothers? Arthur T. Stargis here. I believe a mistake has been made."

Let's get organized

"It looks like our house got sick and threw up the attic."

"I’ve seen better metaphors in my litter box."

Bobbies library of jeans

"Oh, don't mind that, it's just my body of unseen work."

Mating rituals

Gary Basks in the glow of a fifteen-minute window with no empty cardboard boxes in the house.

The Dandy

"Billy's room gets cleaned for free! The cleaning service uses it to train employees how to clean a hazardous waste dump."

"Every time I explore the corners of my mind, I have the urge to dust."

"Our smart home must know how must clutter we have, because it took it upon itself to rent a dumpster."

"The 'Queer Eye' people came by - but they fled."

'Hows it coming?'

Declutter Your Life

Horn of Plenty.

GAP. GAP. NO GAP.

"I don't think you're getting the point of this exercise."

'You know you're 40 when...'(women)

'Nice decorating. I like the clothes and toys everywhere...and the half eaten sandwich really ties it all together!'

Stuff you need once then leave at the back of the cupboard to fester

"Come on, Baldo...get up. It's twenty to eleven."

'Never, Ever...open the glove compartment in your car.'

"He thinks he's located a World War I torpedo boat. What's exciting at your house?"

"I like putting any all the holiday decorations....it makes the room seem twice as large."

'I begged him to get a smart reader.'

'That's beautiful! Where can I get one?'

'Oh, I know I get an allowance for cleaning up my room, but I'm on vacation this week.'

I suggest you call technical support.

Needle in a Haystack vs. Thumbtack in a Junk Drawer

"I never realized how many wires and cords we used. And that's just from my office."

"I misplace everything, yet there always seems to be more of it."

'Let me put you on ignore ... I mean hold.'

"Officer, my husband went back there last night to hook up a DVR... and I haven't seen him since!"