Fashion Clutter-buster Gifts

"Brooks Brothers? Arthur T. Stargis here. I believe a mistake has been made."

Let's get organized

"It looks like our house got sick and threw up the attic."

"I’ve seen better metaphors in my litter box."

Bobbies library of jeans

"Oh, don't mind that, it's just my body of unseen work."

Mating rituals

Gary Basks in the glow of a fifteen-minute window with no empty cardboard boxes in the house.

"Every time I explore the corners of my mind, I have the urge to dust."

The Dandy

"Billy's room gets cleaned for free! The cleaning service uses it to train employees how to clean a hazardous waste dump."

"Our smart home must know how must clutter we have, because it took it upon itself to rent a dumpster."

"The 'Queer Eye' people came by - but they fled."

'Hows it coming?'

Declutter Your Life

Horn of Plenty.

It's too hard to clean my closet. Take out everything. Throw them into "keep", "donate" or "toss" boxes. Ok. Done!

GAP. GAP. NO GAP.

"I don't think you're getting the point of this exercise."

'You know you're 40 when...'(women)

'Nice decorating. I like the clothes and toys everywhere...and the half eaten sandwich really ties it all together!'

"He thinks he's located a World War I torpedo boat. What's exciting at your house?"

"Come on, Baldo...get up. It's twenty to eleven."

'I begged him to get a smart reader.'

Stuff you need once then leave at the back of the cupboard to fester

'Never, Ever...open the glove compartment in your car.'

"I like putting any all the holiday decorations....it makes the room seem twice as large."

'That's beautiful! Where can I get one?'

'Oh, I know I get an allowance for cleaning up my room, but I'm on vacation this week.'

Needle in a Haystack vs. Thumbtack in a Junk Drawer

"I misplace everything, yet there always seems to be more of it."

I suggest you call technical support.

'Let me put you on ignore ... I mean hold.'

"I never realized how many wires and cords we used. And that's just from my office."

I'm attacking this family's clutter! You need me? Yes! Help me decide which pile to start with. Tough call.