Clumsiness Champion T-Shirts

'The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your actions.'

All Thumbs Store

Glass and Porcelain Store: Elephants must remain outside.

A polar bear has slipped and is sprawled out on the ice next to a yellow caution sign that features a slipping figure.

"I'm the ghost of clumsy past."

"Just great...on my first day on the job."

"I'll help you find your glasses after I find my horn."

Man carrying crates of eggs about to step on sleeping dog.

'Guess who I bumped into today? EVERYBODY!'

'I told you not to slam the door!'

"I'm here because I keep bumping into old friends. Like, literally bumping into them."

Man reading letter, 'You may already be a winner' about to step on rake.

"Oh my God Ruth, it's that bull again!"

"I don't think it's possible for your room to get any messier!"

'Do you still wonder why you were passed over for accounting research manager?'

"The good news is I've cleaned up my office. The bad news is I think I threw out my computer."

"I dropped my phone and even though I picked it up within 5 seconds, the screen still cracked."

Cat in bandages and on a crutch.

The Creative Process

'What can I say? The Feng Shui in the litter box was off.'

"You stepped right in dog ship and now you're dragging it all over the house."

Unlucky sculpture.

'When I get the clumsies, switch me to a sippy-cup.'

'I can't get into my room because of all the clothes, books and C.Ds piled up against the door, so we have to go in this way.'

Where is my phone?! My keys have to be around somewhere! Where is my wallet?! Some lost things are seemingly impossible for me to find. On the other hand, whenever any weight is lost it will will always easily find me again.

'Little help here?'

'Darn it, Marvin! Can't you do anything right?'

Man knocked out by doorframe leading into a basketball court.

Man carrying lots of brushes is about to trip over one.

'How can you be so clumsy, Fred? That's the third time today you've tripped in the sand!'

"Did you make all these 911 calls?"

'You have to try to be more careful, Daddy - You almost broke little Mike's roller skate!'

"I can't believe this! When I was your age, I never hit a ball through a window!"

'To be honest, I'm surprised you employed me!'

'Hip pointers are not the most serious sports injuries. They're just really embarrassing.'