Clubhouse Conversationalist T-Shirts

'Better get back to business and take your mind off golf for a change.'

Frontispiece to the first volume of 'Master Humphrey's Clock'

Golfer to other: 'I've never seen anyone slice a putt before.'

"He took eight shots on the 19th hole!"

'Read any good Apps lately?'

"I like his earlier work better, particularly the ones I said I didn't like at the time."

'Actually, I don't get out much. I spend most of my time alone, writing lyrical novels celebrating nature and the interconnectedness of all living things!'

'That's the corkage fee you wanted to ask about, Jack, not the cleavage fee!'

"My world is Tribeca, lars, and yours is a different world."

Kid to kid: 'I can't be wearing out my welcome. I didn't even step on it.'

"So is that a slice of a hook? I never know which is which."

"Wanna get pigeon holed?"

'Fancy a good time - no strings attached?'

"Gracie, you're a good mud artist."

"It's discretionary income but I occasionally use it for indiscretions."

"I unleash greed, disease, and death on the world, and you're saying you ate an apple that made you smart?"

'If you want to improve your golf score, the best wood to use is a pencil with an eraser.'

"Oh I don't think it's as bad as all that. In fact, I think we're in the golden age of something which we won't even realize it's the golden age of until many years from now."

"Let's discuss this feeling that you're always being blamed for bad golf scores!"

'It's going to be harder to get back than you think. We're now part of a subculture of a counter culture.'

"Everything has been done to death."

"All the good ones are neutered."

'I think it's finally accurate to say that literally everyone is misusing the word 'literally'.'

"As if we didn't already know too much about ourselves, we're having our DNA done."

'Fill 'er up!'

"Let's face it, Tom. A society that's paying its Frank Sinatras and Johnny Carsons more than its yous and mes is out of whack."

"I'm using my married name right now, but I'm keeping my maiden name on ice, just in case."

"I got married once - to avoid writing."

'He popped the question last night. 'Who do you think will win the Cup?'

"Mother, you were right."

"Do you think of yourself as a spiritual person?"

Nice Old Ladies Tend to Look at the Bright Side of Things: 'As kids my brother and I took turns beating each other up!' 'Well, I think it's wonderful when kids take turns!'

"He couldn't sink that last putt, so now he's trying to drown it."

"I was quite a successful writer once...what sort of books are you interested in?"

'I'd like to keep it a boys only club too, but this is HER tree house!'