Cloud Nine Philosopher Gifts

"Ever since I died, I don't care as much about the crossword."

'I managed to take it with me but it seems to be useless here."

"I thought there would be bacon here."

'I'm being sent back. I told you I have a great attorney.'

'Stocks plummeted on news of your demise.'

Damn defibrillators.

"This is neither Heaven nor Hell. It's the private sector."

"The last thing I remember was asking my broker if all my money had been in risk-free bonds."

"Your PA isn't due up here for another 27 years. You'll just have to answer the questions yourself."

'I think I'm going to like it here!'

"It's very nice. I just think they could add a spa."

"Speaking only for myself, the unexamined life was a total gas!"

An Angel getting his dog to jump through his Halo using it like a Hoop

Flight nap

Heaven on the Phone to Hell - 'We've got Sky.'

Descartes in the afterlife: "I thought therefore I was."

Angel using his hal to play golf.

'Well, what do you think of the new BOOYA halo?'

"Ah...a newcomer to Heaven, I see."

"Sorry. I'm molting."

Actually, I was looking for a tax haven.

'Angelfood always DID make me break out.'

'If this were really heaven there would be fire hydrants.'

'Call me 'Pete'. We're very informal here.'

'I didn't expect Paradise to be so literal...'

Please have 2 forms of photo ID ready.

"Assigned to cloud nine! I haven't been there since I caught that twelve pound bass!"

"Open your mouth so I can take a DNA sample."

Heavy angels play ring-toss using halos and thin angel.

I know, I was expecting something different too...

Life after death. It's all about altitude. "Whaz up?" "Aside from you pants - everything."

'Isn't it heaven to always be right...'

'Sorry, but we've never gotten enough golfers here to make it worthwhile to put in a golf course.'