Cloud Nine Capitalist Gifts

'Stocks plummeted on news of your demise.'

"I thought there would be bacon here."

"This is neither Heaven nor Hell. It's the private sector."

"The last thing I remember was asking my broker if all my money had been in risk-free bonds."

"Your PA isn't due up here for another 27 years. You'll just have to answer the questions yourself."

"Who'd have thought it? It turns out you can take it with you when you die."

'I think I'm going to like it here!'

Heavenly Take Out

'Eternity isn't bad, so long as they allow us to day-trade.'

"It's very nice. I just think they could add a spa."

"Speaking only for myself, the unexamined life was a total gas!"

An Angel getting his dog to jump through his Halo using it like a Hoop

Heaven on the Phone to Hell - 'We've got Sky.'

Angel using his hal to play golf.

'Well, what do you think of the new BOOYA halo?'

Actually, I was looking for a tax haven.

I know, I was expecting something different too...

"This can't be heaven, where's the shops?"

'I didn't expect Paradise to be so literal...'

"Assigned to cloud nine! I haven't been there since I caught that twelve pound bass!"

'Call me 'Pete'. We're very informal here.'

'If this were really heaven there would be fire hydrants.'

Heavy angels play ring-toss using halos and thin angel.

Life after death. It's all about altitude. "Whaz up?" "Aside from you pants - everything."

'I managed to take it with me but it seems to be useless here."

Well, that routine physical didn

'Isn't it heaven to always be right...'

'Sorry, but we've never gotten enough golfers here to make it worthwhile to put in a golf course.'

'Whoever would have thought you couldn't get in without a jacket and tie?'

'Just because you were a good salesman doesn't mean you can come in!'

"There, would you believe it - Made in China!"

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

"With no snooker tables, it's not my idea of heaven."

Site Acquired For 200,000 Homes

"Ever since I died, I don't care as much about the crossword."