Cloud-nine Hustler Gifts

"With no snooker tables, it's not my idea of heaven."

"I thought there would be bacon here."

'Stocks plummeted on news of your demise.'

Damn defibrillators.

"This is neither Heaven nor Hell. It's the private sector."

"The last thing I remember was asking my broker if all my money had been in risk-free bonds."

"Your PA isn't due up here for another 27 years. You'll just have to answer the questions yourself."

'I think I'm going to like it here!'

'Eternity isn't bad, so long as they allow us to day-trade.'

The Cheese God

An Angel getting his dog to jump through his Halo using it like a Hoop

Heaven on the Phone to Hell - 'We've got Sky.'

Descartes in the afterlife: "I thought therefore I was."

Angel using his hal to play golf.

"Ah...a newcomer to Heaven, I see."

"Sorry. I'm molting."

'Well, what do you think of the new BOOYA halo?'

Actually, I was looking for a tax haven.

'I didn't expect Paradise to be so literal...'

'Call me 'Pete'. We're very informal here.'

"Open your mouth so I can take a DNA sample."

"Assigned to cloud nine! I haven't been there since I caught that twelve pound bass!"

'Angelfood always DID make me break out.'

Please have 2 forms of photo ID ready.

Heavy angels play ring-toss using halos and thin angel.

I know, I was expecting something different too...

'If this were really heaven there would be fire hydrants.'

Life after death. It's all about altitude. "Whaz up?" "Aside from you pants - everything."

'I'm considered a saint, but my mother always thought I could've done better.'

"Who knew we could take our Frequent Flyer miles with us?"

'Sorry, but we've never gotten enough golfers here to make it worthwhile to put in a golf course.'

"There, would you believe it - Made in China!"