Cloud Nine Homeowner Gifts

Site Acquired For 200,000 Homes

"I thought there would be bacon here."

'I'm being sent back. I told you I have a great attorney.'

'Stocks plummeted on news of your demise.'

"The last thing I remember was asking my broker if all my money had been in risk-free bonds."

"Your PA isn't due up here for another 27 years. You'll just have to answer the questions yourself."

"Who'd have thought it? It turns out you can take it with you when you die."

'I think I'm going to like it here!'

"It's very nice. I just think they could add a spa."

The Cheese God

An Angel getting his dog to jump through his Halo using it like a Hoop

Heaven on the Phone to Hell - 'We've got Sky.'

Descartes in the afterlife: "I thought therefore I was."

'Well yes. I guess it makes you look taller.'

"Ah...a newcomer to Heaven, I see."

Actually, I was looking for a tax haven.

"I know it looks a little rough but we're having all the puffy stuff reupholstered this week."

'Call me 'Pete'. We're very informal here.'

Everest Sign in Heaven

'I didn't expect Paradise to be so literal...'

Please have 2 forms of photo ID ready.

'Angelfood always DID make me break out.'

"Open your mouth so I can take a DNA sample."

Heavy angels play ring-toss using halos and thin angel.

I know, I was expecting something different too...

"Assigned to cloud nine! I haven't been there since I caught that twelve pound bass!"

"We're engaged!"

Life after death. It's all about altitude. "Whaz up?" "Aside from you pants - everything."

'I'm considered a saint, but my mother always thought I could've done better.'

"Who knew we could take our Frequent Flyer miles with us?"

'I managed to take it with me but it seems to be useless here."

'Whoever would have thought you couldn't get in without a jacket and tie?'

"There, would you believe it - Made in China!"