Closet Enthusiast Pillows

"That? - oh my husband - a closet bricklayer."

The boogeyman comes out of Timmy's closet in more ways than one.

'Don't think of it as losing a daughter - think of it as gaining a closet.'

'You'll love this house. One floor is all closets.'

We're all litigation crazy. Last week I had to sue my wife for joint custody of the closet.

'What are my priorities? Take this huge closet and build a house around it!'

"Man's best friends."

'It finally took me thirty years, but I finally have one of every 3-D comic book ever made'

Shoe addict.

"You won't believe this but I haven't a thing to wear"

"This realm isn't big enough for both of our killer outfits."

"That shirt is so last year."

Caveman invents an armchair and his dog sits in it.

"Yes, but I'll know it's a recliner."

Maria had always said you could never have too many shoes. Actually, she was wrong.

"Well, do you want to buy this sofa or not? You've been on it for three days!"

'They're both nice - which can you ill afford least?'

'It's a coffee-book table.'

"Connect A2 to B3, insert D3 into E5....I hate flat packs!"

The Piano Dreams Of Home

"Well I have to go, my ride is here."

Hat Boxes, in the Closet

'Did they deliver the new couch today?'

"It may not be resplendent, Your Highness, but it's totally ergonomic."

Murphy's Bed meets Murphy's Law.

A woman and her home simultaneously achieve 'casual'.

'Darling...I'm afraid the sofa salesmen got the better of me.'

"I have a whole closet full of running clothes I never wear."

'I'm sorry, what were you saying? I was busy critiquing your outfit?'

'Well, it WAS a pretty coffee table until Dave spilled coffee on it!'

"They're exactly the same, except in Hell you have to put on your own duvet cover."

"Who let the dining-room set into the liquor cabinet again?"

'We'll take it!'

'Of course we can fix your sweater but we'll have to contact the sheep to match the wool!'

“This daily metamorphosis never fails to amaze me. Around the house, I’m a perfect idiot. I come to court, futon a black robe, and, by God, I’m it!”