Close Family Pillows

"Before we begin, I think you should all know that I once smoked a reefer in 1935."

Jane and Tarzan's wedding.

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

Shepherd and eurydice

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

"Have you been on the moon again, young man?"

Cry babies.

'I don't want him experiencing anything until I've totally checked it out.'

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

'Well, it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

"There was no other choice, Mom. It was a double dog dare."

"Look Mommy, hat!"

The Baby Walker

"Couldn't you have just laughed instead of spelling 'LOL' in your alphabet soup?"

"Studies show that children of immigrants are more likely to to take advanced math and science courses and more likely to take advanced placement tests in preparation for college."

'..and we thank thee for these bio-engineered vegetables..'

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

A baby duck in a tiny car seat on the mother duck's back.

'Ahhh...'

'What the... MOM! This isn't deer! It's a yucky tourist again!!'

'She's a very protectice mother!' - Lifeguard at Christening/Baptism.

My First Camera

"Any idea how long your family might be visiting?"

'Honey, where's my cell phone?'

"I'm sorry, Ms. Cole is busy balancing family and career. Can I take a message and have her call you back?"

Pregnant lady being greeted by foetus.

'They don't understand goo-goo-gah-gah. Dumb it down to WHAAAAAH!'

Impressing dad.

"You mustn't pull the cat's tail so hard it tugs the head inside, sweetie!"

"That's our house, that's Mommy going to work, and that's you, staring out the window, wondering where it all went wrong."

'He has your nose and my ears.'

"Congratulations, it's a lifetime of penury and countless sleepless nights!"