Clinical Trial Coordinator Gifts

First clue that the latest medical breakthrough isn't quite there yet - 'Don't worry, I had the same thing...'

Drugs - 'Placebos' and 'Ex-strength placebos'.

"If I don't think it's going to work, will it still work?"

I suppose this probably counts as an adverse event.

Clinical Trails. . . Prevention . . . Detection. . . Diagnosis. . . Treatment.

'Before I give you these pills, I want to find out how the guinea pigs are doing.'

'Medicine needs research, and research needs people like you, Mrs Watts, to make sure they've got it right.'

'Control group Bar and grill - Placebo hour 5-7.'

'...the side effects of this designer drug are more beneficial than it's intended use!'

"36% of our focus group suffered from the side effects, while 14% enjoyed them."

'He was extremely proud of the fact that he was one of the lucky ones chosen to participate in a bold new medical experiment.'

"Find out who set up this experiment. It seems that half of the patients were given a placebo, and the other half were given a different placebo."

"This is our test group for sleeping pill products!"

The Department of Blind-Side Bias, Knowledge Gaps and Really Great Coffee.

'I'm promoting you to project coordinator because you seem to have an overall view of things.'

"What do you want to talk about first...the kleptomania or the hoarding?"

'A problem with the Phase II trials. Everyone - all the people - was given the placebo, and no one got the drug.'

'So much for your new Satnav!'

"Excuse me, I think you'll find I've reserved that luggage rack space ..."

Trade Show Sherpas

Acme. Breakable prop transporter.

Manufacturing will take place in China...So what role does Europe have?...you borrow money to be the customer

'Well, I guess we're the control group.'

Fragile stamper.

"How long before the clinical trials are over?"

"You only need one prescription. The other 7 are for the side effects."

Deadline

Never tell the boss "You can count on me" during inventory.

Supply Chain

"Of course, the actual honey is all made overseas."

"I hate it when the palcebo does better than the drugs we're testing."

STRIP *Community Care * Squeezing it all in before lunch

'You were right, you are in the placebo group.'

"Amazon wants to open a facility here due to our friendly labor environment."

"We'll start with some 'ice breakers' and 'team building' games..."