Clinic Manager Gifts

Walk-in Clinic and Climb up Clinic.

'It's true that it costs an arm and a leg... but you grow them back.'

Hospital operation.

"We probably need to rethink our revenue strategy for the practice."

"OK, you're going to feel a little prick, followed by a burning desire to sue me."

"So tell me everything you just filled in on the form out there."

The Boss of the Kleptomania Clinic has turned up for work only to discover his Clinic has been stolen

"Apparently in 'managed care,' you manage by yourself."

"Here's what I'm gonna do."

"Quick! Act like we just developed a drug that they can sell for seven thousand dollars a pill."

"If you'd only come to me sooner I wouldn't have had to go to lunch."

Old sea captains queue to see Monster Whale Revenge.

Prospective hospital employee: 'I do sutures. Are there any openings?'

"It's interpret-your-own-test-results day today."

'The client has asked that you please stop referring to the product as, 'Crappy Crap Crap.'

"I'm torn, Randy. I don't know what to think." "About what, little buddy?" "Star Trek. The last movie got rave reviews. Critics and audiences loved it. Therefore, I loved it too. But it didn't come anywhere close to earning $1 billion at the box office. And these days, any movie that doesn't earn $1 billion is a complete failure. Therefore, I must hate it. I'm in limbo until the hive mind comes to a consensus." "Except for honey, nothing good ever comes from hives."

'The position carries no salary, just healthcare coverage.'

"Did you speak to our client in Australia?"

"I hate it when the palcebo does better than the drugs we're testing."

"Look at them over there, looking all smug with their clients and accounts and stuff."

'When you've a minute could you design a new health infrastructure for the area with budget forecasts staffing requirements and job descriptions...tomorrow will do.'

NHS targets.

NHS recruitment.

Outskirts of town with sign: 'Entering Centerville - a town without a film festival.'

'It's a brand new state-of-the-art waiting room.'

Hell's Angels

Minister rubbishes private sector hospital initiative.

The Odd Couple.

Hospital Deaths - "Congratulations, you're manager of the month again"

Stafford Hospital - Twinned with Hell.

NHS Reforms: See No Evil, Hear No Evil and Speak No Evil.

"Psychiatric convention"

Fertility clinic open day - Man holding balloons shaped like sperm.

'The hospital needs to cut its drug budget...Mrs Miggins will be seeing what she can do for the Oncology department with hot twigs and frogspawn...'

If Supermarkets were run like the NHS: I'd like a million pounds worth of shampoo, which I may not bother to collect if Eastenders is on.