Clinic Jester Gifts

'I believe in delegating nonprofessional duties. In my place the technicians sell the leashes and rubber bones!'

CLINIC, 'Are you worried about passing your blood test?', 'Heck, no -- anybody can BLEED.'

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

"And as soon as he's on the mend,we'll get the physiotherapist in here with a ball of twine."

"We're following Carrot Top."

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

'How's everyone doing tonight - that is the question.'

'How about a game of cards?'

"I always check twitter before work, to see if yesterday's joke got me the sack."

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

'Pass it to Dewey! He's got himself into some kind of rhythm!!'

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

"He's actually my co-counsel, but you may scratch his head."

Supreme Court. It's either constitutional or unconstitutional - We don't use a scale of one to ten!

"Not guilty but prepared to settle out of court, your honour."

'Wait!... I don't want to take Brady out right now. He's just getting into rhythm.'

"So what's this special distracting tactic you've developed?"

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

Stepping on clown's shoe...

'This court finds you guilty Mr. Jones. As your punishment, the bailiff here will slug you one.'

"#notguilty."

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

'Your Honor, in order to avoid being sued, we find the defendant 'Not guilty.''

Yawning barristers in court

A baby in court

"I say we move on to dessert."

'Don't worry boss, it's probably archaic!'

'Cut down on sodium? I'm taking that with a pinch of salt.'

Basketball.

The Scones-Monkey Trial. I, Judge Sadie, am prepared to rule. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Intelligent design versus evolution. Borrrinnng. That is my legal finding. Appeal. Will all bipeds please rise.

'Court is in recess for one hour. Everyone convene on the playground and we will choose sides for dodgeball!'

'Make him laugh, make him cry.'

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

"Dave here, is a lawyer. But don't be too impressed, he only specialises in petty crime."

"We can give you enough medication to alleviate the pain, but not enough to make it fun."