Clever Quip Appreciator Gifts

'You can't make a wit out of two half wits.'

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

I've been teaching art history for decades. Students today ask new kinds of questions. No, I doubt a gluten-free menu option was available that evening. Nope, the artist was not making a statement about climate change. No, despite the umbrellas, this is not about sun exposure safety. Well, yes, I suppose you can say it's a selfie.

"Fish needs a bigger bowl."

King Arthur on the lake trying to open letters when the lady of the lake offers a letter opener.

"Where else in the world would you get such wonderful sunsets?"

The Ray Bradbury classic, 'The Car Alarm.'

"And I'll also take my steak raw thank you."

Bob had to confront his fear of butterflies.

A small snooker player chalking his cue.

"Whales eat billions of tiny shrimp-like creatures called krill. The krill are free but whales spend a fortune on dental floss."

Dog chews 'The Cat Book'.

T"ruly, Susan, I envy no man."

"Yo, Eunice – don’t leave me hangin’."

'A cheeky red?'

Woman uses a remote control to turn on the sunset.

"I think therefore I am." "Bow Wow, Bow Wow, Bow Wow."

"Who's got the hammer?"

"Please ask your pet to kindly put down the weapon."

'You're through around here.. turn in your rubber donut!'

The height of fashion in 1796

"Well, what did you expect? They were both missing vital organs."

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

A cat has caught a cow which it is dragging through it's cat flap.

"It's been moved that we adjourn for an afternoon nap. Is there a second?"

M.T. accidentally triggers the predator pursuit response.

'Those bears are so cute I wish we could have brought them home.'

Florida - Still Gay as F**k

'Good news - basic black is being shown this season.'

McMorkim's Cheeses Security A gang of mice wheeling in a giant mousetrap with Pizza and Beer as bait to a Security Guard's post hoping to gain access to a cheese Factory if the Guard is trapped.

"That’s great, but where’s the Frisbee?!"

"Well....I could've done this!"

'Well, he actually behaved pretty well for the first few minutes of the wedding ceremony....'

Where Indian ink came from.

"Mom! Don't think of me as covered with sand. Think of me as sugar coated."