Humor Appreciator Gifts

Seder Plate Symbols Explained

"'Jeopardy!' is on."

The four housemen of procrastination

"Two Stones tickets, please, senior discount."

"Sheer will, I tell you - sheer will."

Dr. M.J. Pilkington Cosmetic Surgeon

"I'd say my biggest influence is probably Pollock."

"And remember, if you need anything I'm available 24/6."

A vampire in a canoe.

Foot Fetish Bar: Tonight - Wet Sock Contest

'It all started with some harmless stretching exercises.'

"The court is sorry that it raised its voice."

'What kind of filling would you like?'

"Tell me about a time you identified a problem that others didn't see coming."

"Can I see your ID? Wait, never mind. Wait - yeah, I need to see your ID? Wait --"

'...And this is my man cave.'

"I don't like large groups. I can never remember what our plural is."

"Yes, you're my best friend, and no, I'm not lending you forty thousand dollars."

"Leave it, it's probably some human."

"Lick. Lick. Lick. Lick. Lick. Lick. Lick. Lick. Lick. Lick. Lick. Lick. Lick. Lick. Lick. Then I thought, why not just take a real bath."

"Personally, I prefer a piano bar."

Caution: Fork in road ahead.

Sisyphus Revisited.

'Dear, it's time to pay the piper again.'

Nun reading book entitled: 'How to be good in bed.'

"She's not all over you, but she gets the job done."

"Can't we go five minutes without you checking your flower?"

"You know what I think – if the shoe exists, buy it."

"What I do as an artist is take an ordinary object – say, a lamppost – and, by urinating on it, transform it into something that is uniquely my own."

"Hi, its me, I'm on the broom"

Well la de da. . .

"Ahhh, the Cubans know the kind of treats to leave out for Santa on a cold winter's night."

The Queen's Operation

"You have the right to remain silent, you are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars. You have the right to be here. And, whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should."

"Rupid Raronarirus!"