Humor Appreciator T-Shirts

Seder Plate Symbols Explained

"'Jeopardy!' is on."

The four housemen of procrastination

"Two Stones tickets, please, senior discount."

"Sheer will, I tell you - sheer will."

Dr. M.J. Pilkington Cosmetic Surgeon

"I'd say my biggest influence is probably Pollock."

"And remember, if you need anything I'm available 24/6."

A vampire in a canoe.

Foot Fetish Bar: Tonight - Wet Sock Contest

'It all started with some harmless stretching exercises.'

"The court is sorry that it raised its voice."

"Tell me about a time you identified a problem that others didn't see coming."

'What kind of filling would you like?'

"Can I see your ID? Wait, never mind. Wait - yeah, I need to see your ID? Wait --"

"I don't like large groups. I can never remember what our plural is."

'...And this is my man cave.'

"Leave it, it's probably some human."

"Yes, you're my best friend, and no, I'm not lending you forty thousand dollars."

"Lick. Lick. Lick. Lick. Lick. Lick. Lick. Lick. Lick. Lick. Lick. Lick. Lick. Lick. Lick. Then I thought, why not just take a real bath."

"Personally, I prefer a piano bar."

Sisyphus Revisited.

Caution: Fork in road ahead.

'Dear, it's time to pay the piper again.'

"She's not all over you, but she gets the job done."

"Can't we go five minutes without you checking your flower?"

Nun reading book entitled: 'How to be good in bed.'

"You know what I think – if the shoe exists, buy it."

"What I do as an artist is take an ordinary object – say, a lamppost – and, by urinating on it, transform it into something that is uniquely my own."

"Hi, its me, I'm on the broom"

"Ahhh, the Cubans know the kind of treats to leave out for Santa on a cold winter's night."

"You have the right to remain silent, you are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars. You have the right to be here. And, whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should."

"Rupid Raronarirus!"

Well la de da. . .

The Queen's Operation