Clerical Prankster Gifts

Excommunicate Me.

Chase me, chase me cows.

'He's not as studious as he looks - his backpack is full of comic books.'

Nun Binning the Devil

They still don't get it, do they? They can't see we're aping them!

"At first, I was teaching Job a lesson, but now I'm just messing with him."

A convenient attack of swine flu...

'Checkmate!'

"Norton! Put that back at once!"

The Ascent of Man.

F1 - Quit Smoking.

'Dr. Federson has performed this procedure so many times, he could do it blindfolded with one hand tied behind his back. Show him, doctor.'

Om and Ommer

Disorderlies

'Looks like someone got their bags mixed up at daycare drop-off.'

Monks play conkers with crucifix

'Psst, buddy -- Apocrypha!'

Unbeknown to others, Thoreau would sometimes, in the middle of the night, sneak out for a few odds and ends.

"...and how about you, Wellington? Does this smell funny to you?"

Book signing The Art Of Forgery - "Gee thanks, Oprah Winfrey."

Patient to Doctor: 'This may hurt a little.'

'Malpractice? No - it's not our dog.'

Reason # 23 that doors don't make perfect seal against winter winds: Mischievous unemployed elves.

Sartre's E-Mail

"How cute! Our technician photo-bombed your X-ray!"

After exhaustive auditions, Rudy Park hires a new writer. You should've seen the brawl that broke out between Rowling, Twain and Watterson. They all really wanted the gig … until they heard what it pays. So who'd we hire? Darrin Bell. The guy who draws us. That clown? Shhh!! What? I'm not afraid of him. To be continued …

4 pm MEET THE COPYCAT AUTHOR

'I really don't need to go to church, Reverend -- I feel guilty enough without it.'

Early Ram Raids

Dog makes cats float with helium.

"Does the court have any objection if I accompany my plea on the violin, your honour?"

"Dr. Lutz is the city's top funny bone man."

Hazing - In the Vienna Philharmonic

"He did it again. Slipped out and replaced himself with a bunch of lumpy pillows."

"Pull my finger."