Clerical Attire Gifts

'Look, Mom! A white-collar criminal!'

A paperwork machine spews endless paperwork

"Yes. I said 2 by 2, but you needed to use 2 by 4s for the Ark...begin again."

Killer Executive Suits.

Formal SuitsBusiness SuitsBirthday Suits.

"Guess who brought king cake!"

'I'll be late for dinner, dear, I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

'She's a very protectice mother!' - Lifeguard at Christening/Baptism.

"It's OK, I'm preordained."

"You may now kiss the bride..."

"I said he's beginning to teethe...not tithe."

Priest's 'To do' list.

"Welcome aboard, Bailey. Don't worry — they don't bite."

'I don't remember predetermining THAT!'

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'

Two priests share a laugh outside a confessional booth

'Due to the poor response to the roof repair fund we cannot afford to lift the rafters when rejoicing in song.'

Golfing Bishop.

'I now pronounce you man and wife, you now may kiss you sweet little bachelor butt goodbye.'

"Today, I'll be cherry-picking from Deuteronomy."

'So it's with a heavy heart that I leave you good people of St. Paul's and accept the calling to be minister at the Sunnydell Nudist Colony...'

"Today we studied Matthew, the first in a four-part series."

"O Lord—why art thou such a drama queen?"

"What? You broke number 3 already?"

Toy Shops and Educated Children

A child interrupting family prayers

"...And do you promise if you ever should divorce that you'll remain friends?"

'No, smart guy -- it means all of them at once!'

“Dad, I think I’ve finally found Gsus.”

'This is our bestselling power tie. Just put it on and clap twice.'

'Look, I never said salvation would be PRETTY!'

"Reverend, I recommend you turn the other cheek."

The Kids' Table at the Last Supper

"Honey, I’ve found God!"

"In the same of the phone, the tablet, and the desktop computer."