Clearance Shopper Gifts

"Tsk, tsk, tsk. . . already marked down for clearance and it's not even Halloween yet."

Cut Price

'It's nothing serious. Rest is the best cure for binge shopping.'

"The checkout clerk will now testily remind you to press 'ok'."

Fresh picked baseballs.

Checkout for $385.00 or more.

Sale today - 50% off everything!

"Let's just get through the first aisle...then we'll discuss your impulse buying."

"I've got a lot of stuff, a ton of coupons, and I pay by check, so all you behind me...get comfortable!"

Tescos: 'Oh no! There's no chocolate at the checkout!'

Final clearance sale.

Mildred takes a shortcut to the shops. . .

I brake for all 50 off Sales.

'You're the first person to ask for a shopping hour in addition to a lunch hour.'

"Murder, eh? They nabbed me for bargain-hunting without a license."

'That's Jeb Lambert. He was actually the first one to say 'paper or plastic'. Before that everyone said 'plastic or paper'... I mean, can you imagine?'

"Shopping was stress-free this year because I started early and didn't give a s**t what I bought."

10 items or less

'As many items as I want or no customer!'

Everything must go sale.

"Will your spiritual journey take you anywhere near the shops?"

Elderly couple bearing a sign: '...We take ages.'

'Dear, if the GPS can't find your nutritional yeast flakes, how can I?'

"I put a wet paint sign on our bench at the mall so we'll have a place to sit."

Something for Everyone!

'Well, that's the lot, Miss Jones - you're fired!'

10 Items or Less or Else.

"Unfortunately, they came up with a new class of antidepressants that can seriously inhibit compulsive shopping."

'Sorry ma'am, but a rule is a rule.'

Supermarket Self Service Checkout

"Costco."

'Need any help with packing?'

Eight Attempts at remembering PIN or less.

'How's My Driving?' sign on supermarket shopper.

Price check on (barcode)!