Cleanup Crusaders Gifts

"Yeah, I don't like this part either."

'Life is all attitude: 45 seconds of enjoying it...45,000 hours of regretting it...'

'Before you come with me, tell me...does this robe look a little rumpled to you? I don't think the dry cleaners got the creases out, do you?'

Ironing day.

Musical Accompaniment to Household Chores.

"Would it kill you to compost?"

The household cavalry

"They're being very good. They're playing superheroes!"

'Looks like everyone has FINALLY gone home.'

"It would kill him to run a vacuum?"

Fumes from furniture

An anglerfish lights up rubbish at the bottom of the ocean

'It isn't supposed to taste good. It's furniture polish.'

'I don't care if you're wearing them again tomorrow, just put your clothes away!'

'When you've finished the washing up and you're certain you've cleaned absolutely everything... you'll always find another teaspoon.'

"I don't CARE if Tracy Emin's bed sold for £4440,000...I STILL want you to clean your room."

This is not what I had in mind when I joined the Council!

"I could probably keep spring-cleaning till next winter."

'Mom, I cleaned my room like you told me.'

"Let me know when the floor is clean enough for me to put my feet on it again."

'Oh no, green waxy build up.'

'It doesn't look good, sir - the enemy is amassing vacuum cleaners along our southern border.'

Cleaner

Man of steel wool.

Ask Sadie. Actual questions from actual readers! Send your questions to asksadie@rudypark.com. Dear Ask Sadie, My mom is always nagging me to clean my room. I don't see why I should have to. I like it the way it is. I don't nag at her for having a clean room, because I know that's how she likes it. How can I get her to just let me be me? - Unhappy at Home. Excellent question. The thing is, it's your mother's job to shape you into a respectable person. If you think "being you" includes being dirt

"You'll have to clean your room by yourself. Your plea for disaster aid has been turned down by the President."

Cow wash: 'You missed a spot.'

'How damp is this place? Let me put it this way: I use mold and mildew remover as a skin care product.'

View of the sea - 'One day son, all this will be houses.'

Human Dust Buster

'We can't get enough of these makeover shows.'

Superfoods are in aisle three.

"This Bounty is useless against the Quicker Messer Maker."

"I'd never have imagined such innovative ways of wearing this cape!"

Pete's trying to groom himself"