Cleanse Skeptic Pillows

"No thanks. I'm a junk food cleanse this week."

'Personally I take all these programmes with a pinch of salt.'

"Nice try, Jim, but there's no such thing as a 'Beer cleanse'."

"That can't be right. How'd you work 15 hours in on day?"

'There's nothing wrong with him-just delusions of glandular.'

"He's so anti-regulation he won't even take a laxative."

'Too much Omega 3.'

'Frank, leak to the tabloids that these slow moving broccoli flakes cure cancer.'

Man sees hug capsules: 'Not to be taken Orally.'

Environmental Conscience

'Where exactly did you get this 'Lifestyle Guru' from?'

'Look, half the work is done! All you need to do is fill in the top part so we can legally say the bottom part.'

The council wanted us to have a Healthy Lifestyle Monitor

'First of all, I'm taking you off the iron supplements.'

'Coins, when swallowed, cause cancer. Perhaps money should be banned.'

GMOs

"In a nutshell Mr. Beesley, you have hypochondria."

"No thanks, I'm on a juicebook cleanse this week."

'Can I trust a Doctor whose prescriptions have absolutely no side effects?'

Doctor, I looked up my symptoms on the internet and I think I might be dead. Don't believe everything you read on the net.

"Why should I want to add years to my life when they all come at the end?"

"It's extremely rare for anyone to suffer side effects from health supplements Mr Baxter. Just how much cod liver oil have you been taking?"

'You are on a sickie you skiving little...'

'You're taking too much of that clamshell calcium, Margaret.'

"These diet pills must work. My purse is getting thinner and thinner."

'Seems like we're all too old, unfit, overweight. . .'

Super and Super Duper Vitamins.

Smart drugs. 'Gee, duh, I don't know. Does it look like we have any in stock?'

'I'm going to try that 'vegan' thing, Joe -- give me some beer nuts.'

"Because when it actually works they just call it medicine."

'That old 'diet and exercise scam' again!'

'So, that's 20 cans of beer and 4 packs of roasted peanuts. Are you absolutely sure your doctor prescribed you this?'

The Royal Touch, Believed to Be a Cure for Scrofula, Pox and Excessive Cholesterol