Cleanse Experimenter Pillows

"Young Frankenstein"

"Not only pharmaceuticals - we're also finding all sorts of industrial chemicals here."

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

'Tastes like cherry kool-aid, what's it do?'

Cookbooks

"First cook the cake, then apply icing sugar and candles..."

"Vindaloo hot enough?"

'Thank you so much, but I just followed the directions in the cookbook.'

"The instructions for the beer-making kit you gave me? Didn't need them -- I figured it out for myself. Drink up."

Excellent crop! What's your secret?

"Are you looking for metric or imperial sized neck bolts?"

"Looks like it's time to make the banana bread."

"What lead you to growing human tests in a test tube?"

"Who shaves the fennel in your family?"

"Then add one extra large egg..."

Miami Mice

The Inexperienced Cook

Junior Masterchef - "Darren Smith and I'll be cooking chicken nuggets with Mars bars in a CocaCola sauce"

"The trouble is, professor, you see the Erlenmeyer flask half empty and I see it half full."

'Beat 3,000 eggs and add one quart of 10-30W oil? So much for putting my recipes on the computer.'

"We're out of today's soup, but you can have tomorrow's soup from yesterday which is the same as today's."

'Preparing free-range chicken requires an extremely patient chef.'

"Well, there's your problem right there -- you need to sauté the onions in white wine before adding the ginger."

The Soundness of Newton's Laws

'I'm trying to turn gold into gasoline.'

"Are you sure you're not just teaching to the test?"

"We didn't have any whipped cream, so I used foaming hand soap."

Cursing Scientist.

Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, Esq.

"Sure we'll get in trouble, but our science grades will make up for it."

The Criminally Insane Gourmet.

Professor...what are you doing?

Science Project: Monkey See, Monkey Do.