Remedy Experimenter Pillows

"It's a new way to stretch leftovers. Saw it in Homeopathy Now."

"Young Frankenstein"

"Not only pharmaceuticals - we're also finding all sorts of industrial chemicals here."

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

'Tastes like cherry kool-aid, what's it do?'

"First cook the cake, then apply icing sugar and candles..."

Cookbooks

'Thank you so much, but I just followed the directions in the cookbook.'

"What lead you to growing human tests in a test tube?"

"The instructions for the beer-making kit you gave me? Didn't need them -- I figured it out for myself. Drink up."

"Looks like it's time to make the banana bread."

"Are you looking for metric or imperial sized neck bolts?"

"Who shaves the fennel in your family?"

"My favorite tea: hot daffodil-infused chamomile with a hint of whiskey. Are you serious? Of course I'm serious! I've been dosing myself with small quantities of poisonous daffodil ever since 1931. You have to build up an immunity if you want to survive in the cutthroat world of Scrabble tournaments."

The Inexperienced Cook

"Then add one extra large egg..."

Miami Mice

Junior Masterchef - "Darren Smith and I'll be cooking chicken nuggets with Mars bars in a CocaCola sauce"

"The trouble is, professor, you see the Erlenmeyer flask half empty and I see it half full."

'Beat 3,000 eggs and add one quart of 10-30W oil? So much for putting my recipes on the computer.'

'Preparing free-range chicken requires an extremely patient chef.'

"We're out of today's soup, but you can have tomorrow's soup from yesterday which is the same as today's."

"Well, there's your problem right there -- you need to sauté the onions in white wine before adding the ginger."

The Soundness of Newton's Laws

"Are you sure you're not just teaching to the test?"

'I'm trying to turn gold into gasoline.'

Cursing Scientist.

"We didn't have any whipped cream, so I used foaming hand soap."

No other lab did as cutting edge research using lab rats as test subjects as McWit Lab.

"I've thrown in some prescription drugs that don't interact well."

Professor...what are you doing?

"Sure we'll get in trouble, but our science grades will make up for it."

The Criminally Insane Gourmet.

Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, Esq.

"We need to put in more bones."