Cleaning Crusader Pillows

"I'm doing some reorganizing - are there any of your possessions that you want to keep?"

'How damp is this place? Let me put it this way: I use mold and mildew remover as a skin care product.'

'Exercise is good for your rehabilitation, you can start by cleaning the toilets.'

"I cooked us a lovely dinner for two—you could at least do the dishes!"

"I could probably keep spring-cleaning till next winter."

"How much would it cost to clean up the House of Representatives?"

'I'm not telling you to splash people. Just don't be careful when you pass them.'

Musical Accompaniment to Household Chores.

'Stop shouting into the laundry soap, you old fool...the label says 'Eco-Friendly', not 'Echo-Friendly'!'

"I feel like all I do is pick up crap all day."

And it stores easily under your bed...

'It isn't supposed to taste good. It's furniture polish.'

"Let me know when the floor is clean enough for me to put my feet on it again."

'Mom, I cleaned my room like you told me.'

"I feel like all I do is pick up crap all day."

"I started purging stuff in the junk drawer and got carried away."

"I can't go out right now. It's cleaning day and my bucket list has a mop in it."

'Wow, that's great! I'm slaving away for hours to clean up the house and noe His Highness complains about a few things I inadvertently mislayed!'

Domestic duties

'I remember the Smith's Housekeeping skills from last year.'

"See? I told you there was a great vacuum in space!"

'Oh no, green waxy build up.'

The House-Husband

"You'll have to clean your room by yourself. Your plea for disaster aid has been turned down by the President."

Mummy gets out of his sarcophagus to clean up the museum after hours.

Wife Cleaning

Fumes from furniture

'When you wash a spoon.'

"There can't be monsters under your bed. Monsters are afraid of dust bunnies."

"Take off your moccasins. I don't want buffalo s**t on my clean floor."

'Life is all attitude: 45 seconds of enjoying it...45,000 hours of regretting it...'

"It would kill him to run a vacuum?"

hoovering husband

"I would like to speak to my representative concerning pigeons."

'Steven? Are you in bed yet?'